this is a honest

i love my eyes, i love my chick, i love my hair and honest, i love my everything
thanks God for everything You Given to me
this all were so perfect for me, although i had something sad or bad
but i still be gratefull for all of this, big thanks God

give me somethin' to believe in 'cause I dont believe in you anymore

I wonder if it even makes a difference, even makes a difference to try

and you told me how you're feelin' but I don't believe it's true anymore

I wonder if it even makes a difference to cry
So this is goodbye

 makes me wonder

birthday utterance

yesterday, March 9, 2011
happy birthday for my lovely sister, emalia
and now, March 10, 2011
happy birthday for my beloved brother, riki
love you so much :*

"you paint me a blue sky and go back and turn it to rain"

dear john by taylor swift

saya tau mereka lebih punya segalanya dibanding saya. saya terima kalian seperti ini. tapi apa semuanya adil? saya mulai ga nyaman dengan keadaan ini. saya juga ga bisa ngelakuin apapun. saya bingung serba salah. apa harus saya kehilangan sahabat saya? apa mereka sadar sebenarnya saya membutuhkan mereka? apa perasaan dimanfaatkan seperti ini memang benar kenyataannya? lalu sekarang apa yang harus saya lakukan?

jadilah orang terkuat saat mereka berkata kamu adalah si lemah

 

januari 2011

"gw mau nyoba buat tidur dan bermimpi. 

emang gw cuma bisa bahagia di mimpi"

orang yang sayang sama gw itu ga ada. yang ada cuma orang yang manfaatin gw. dia yang ngaku kk, sahabat, pacar. gw rasa semuanya sama aja. punya niat khusus yang bisa mereka dapetin dari gw. apa gw terlalu baik? mungkin Aloh memang Pengertian. Dia tau gw lemah, rapuh, manja, makanya Dia buat seperti ini. gw harus lebih sabar

malang

boga babaturan, kitu sabutuhna.
boga indung, pilih kasih.
boga bapa, jauh di sulawesi.
boga dulur, jarauh deuih.
boga saha deui atuh kuring?

9

1jam 22menit. ya tanggal 9 memang baru berjalan selama itu. tapi gw udah ngerasain sedihnya. ga ngerti, setiap ketemu tanggal ini gw pasti nangis karena hmm yaa bisa ditebak, ga jauh karena cowo.
ini tanggal jadian gw 1tahun 4bulan yang lalu. sebelumnya juga di tanggal yang sama tapi beda jauh bulannya. logis lah
harusnya gw seneng dan bersyukur ketemu tanggal ini soalnya Alloh udah ngasih umur untuk hubungan yang sulit dijalani selama ini. bersyukur (y) pasti, tapi seneng? sorry jarang.
emang ya manusia itu gak pernah puas. gw ngerasa kok sering jadi seseorang yang egois, tapi gw juga selalu jadi pemikir panjang disini. gw suka cape sendiri. sabar sabar sabar. gw emang wajib jadi penyabar sejati tapi kalo gw terus sabar dan gak berontak, kapan gw bakal di ngertiin? kapan gw dihargain? omongan gw gak pernah di denger. kenapa ya cowo gw hobi banget ngomong maaf? dia gak punya keinginan kuat buat meminimalisir kata maaf dalam artian dia lebih hati-hati biar gak ngelakuin kesalahan, iya kan? gw bingung, sampe kapan ya bakal kaya gini? ini udah berlangsung selama 16bulan. gak ada perubahannya, sumpah gw cape. apa semua cewe yang ada di posisi gw bakal kaya gini ya? bingung, nangis, bikin dia minta maaf. apa gw terlalu egois sampe gw sakit hati sendiri? gw mesti gimana lagi?

i dont know

my brain is gonna be explodes oow
y y y
i dont know and still not understand, what he said was different with what he did
y y y
headache -______-
gubye

and this is a

i never realized when my tears fell down, wet my cheeks
continuously until pooled
exhausted and replaced with blood
and this is a tragic affair, this is a real life, this is a broken heart
this is my truly love which in a tear
look at this and you can see how my feel was crush
yeah crush

one last cry

My shattered dreams and broken heart
Are mending on the shelf
I saw you holding hands, standing close to someone else
Now I sit all alone wishing all my feeling was gone
I gave my best to you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I guess I’m down to my last cry

Cry......

I was here, you were there
Guess we never could agree
While the sun shines on you
I need some love to rain on me
Still I sit all alone, wishing all my feeling was gone
Gotta get over you, nothing for me to do
But have one last cry

One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind this time
Stop living a lie
I know I gotta be strong
Cause round me life goes on and on and on
And on.....

I’m gonna dry my eyes
Right after I had my
One last cry

One last cry, before I leave it all behind
I’ve gotta put you outta my mind for the very last time
Been living a lie
I guess I’m down
I guess I’m down
I guess I’m down...
To my last cry...

mae : ih geloooo, sinting jelema. teu daek kenal deui. yaalloh asa nyesel mantuan geee. nciz sabarr nya, maap mun mae sok ngalusngaluskeun a ***. sumpah keuheul ! 
a hamdan : udah jangan dipikirin ambil aja keputusan yang terbaik buat kamu berdua. kalo kamu sayang ****** lanjutin aja tapi kamu jangan kasih kelonggaran, harus tegas suruh dia berubah. bapao jangan nangis ya. kalo situasinya gini kamu mah suka nangis geuleuh cengeng.
dita : pernah ngarasakeun urang ge. antep heula ayeuna mah si *** na. keun sina nyadar heula. sina eraeun heula, engke ge indung aku ngomong gera. heup lah nyeungceurikan lalaki nu goblog.
camat : bener teu ceuk aku?? tong bogoh teuing kalo misalnya udah pernah putus mah ngadeukeutan deui teh aya kahayang.
dejet : serakah cowo mah !
bang ilham : nya ku abang lagi di introgasi, sugan teh dd heureuy. jirr mun emang dia ngaku mah liat we dicoret dari temen abang soalnya sama aja ga ngerhargain abang juga yang dulu ngebantuin dia buat balik ke dd, ari udah dapet manisnya terus di piceun deui! tenang de ulah ngedrop lagi uas masih banyak orang yang sayang ke dd ieuh!
febri : putuskan saja!

thanks :'(

i dont understand anymore. what actually happens. she is lies? or he is lies? -_____-
what should i do? i want to rest, without problems behind me.
explain baby!

horay

finally, all done...
look at my photo header !
is it cool? haha
[ teu rapih ge bangga -____-' ]

the moon and the stars not come to see me, actually dark, 

i'm thinking of you in the middle of the night

i miss you

with heavy eyes and fatigue's body

with tears all this night

i miss you

no matter who you are

or how many pains that you throw of me

this is night without the moon and the stars

this is me without you accompany

and this is my trully feelings

i miss you

with all my heart and my breath

♥sano

tortured

this is me with all problems i have. this is me with my pity heart. but you never know.
stop tortured me! i'm yours if you guard me, and i'll follow you if you follow me too. is it hardly?
dont do this, dont let me fall again, dont lying, dont said anything about your promise. i'm fed up!
please hear me and keep my trust. dont make it crush, baby. i know you can. i know you love me. i know you want to be my man.

busy

twelve o'clock at my school
actually all students was going home at eleven o'clock, but here i'm finishing all my tasks. this is tired, but i'll doing this, because i'm a student exactly -__-
i'm lonely now, all my friend boys was praying [solat jumat]
i'm scare hohooo but the music of taylor swift still playing here, crush a silent class haha
but i really wanna go home, i'm hungry and i miss my blanket :(